Hi. Let’s all be to-blame for this. No one is innocent.
I wrote the following EXACTLY seven years ago on my old blog.
Not sure why I decided to dig it up tonight, but I did, and I thought I’d put it out there.
It’s more honest and serious than the majority of things I post here but… It deserves sharing. And I can always delete it if there’s a pang of regret.
So. Here’s a video and the post from May 25th, 2005 that brought it up. Forgive my lack of capitalization.
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there is something about jeff buckley’s “everybody here wants you” that i can’t get a hold on.
it’s all at once an r&b jam, perfected lyrical simplicty, a forgotten gem, a love letter, and it is filled with subtle intensity, powerful angst, and heartfelt longing.
it touches me on too many levels… i can’t even begin to explain it. i once had a chance to see jeff buckley in san francisco… long before i even knew who he was. i wasn’t allowed to go. even today, jeff tops my list of artists who have passed that i wish i could have seen, or could see today. the album “sketches for my sweetheart the drunk” is (was) a masterpiece i had not taken to initially. it sat for months before it got a legitimate listen. then, it was cast aside, left at home, and banished to that shelf in my mind where i store music i loved, yet can never recall. hidden songs i should have appreciated, or would appreciate now, that rest in dark room that is rarely discovered.
i heard this song the other night in a friend’s car. she didn’t know the name of the track, or the artist… and for a moment, i knew it was jeff buckley, but couldn’t figure out what it was, or how i knew it. i had to find it. it would bother me until i did.
just as i had a “tab” soda for the first time in at least ten years the other day, i found, and heard this song for the first time in at least five. can’t explain how happy i am that i did.
it is simply… magic. i played it for an old girlfriend the other night, and neither of us could resist the feelings it brings to the surface. it makes you want to hold someone, cry, smile, and tell them everything you’ve ever loved about them. it makes me want to go to that place where all that can hurt within fades to the back, and for just a few minutes, you feel love, and happiness, and bliss. where i yearn, and ache… for love.
this must come across as a drunken rant, a shared moment of sensitivity, or an exhibition of the empty places in my heart… but… listen to the song… your knees will go weak.
and if they don’t… if you feel nothing… if you don’t feel your heart wanting to both break and explode at the same time? i pity you. you’re missing out on an emotion we all should know. maybe i don’t even want to know you.
it is late, but i had to share.
I used to get picked up by my friend Nick every day on the way to high school our junior year. Zero period English. I’d make two giant cups of coffee. One for him, one for me, served in big travel mugs from Northern Light surf shop. A little bit of sugar, and a dash of cream in each.
He would make his way down the hill, pick me up, and then he’d drive us in his Suburban or Acura to class… every day. We’d park at just before 7am and smoke cigarettes and drink coffee until the last moment we possibly could before walking into the portable building where our class was held.
In the winter, when it was dark long beyond our drive, this was the song I’d make Nick play after I got picked up. It just spoke to me, and to us.
We don’t talk anymore. Still, I think of those days when I hear it.
Artemis is the best.
Season pass UNCANCELEDHOLY SHIT i was right!!!
LEAKED final page of MAD MEN SERIES FINALE SCRIPT
(via imalreadyoverthis)
Adam.
I only got to see The Beastie Boys twice but godDAMN if they weren’t a huge part of my life for many years. Important years.
I knew all the words to “Paul Revere” before I knew how to roll a joint and before I got drunk for the first time. I didn’t find out what a “Brass Monkey” was for years, but I knew I wanted one the first time I heard it. I wanted to be a part of that song. ALL their songs really.
I wanted to be that hard and that funny and that clever. I wanted to be able to rhyme and drink and fuck and tell the world all about it like they did. I’d rewind their tapes over and over to learn certain lines and be able to rap along with their shit.
MCA was always my guy. He seemed like the “me” of the group. A little older, a little wiser, and clever, but somewhat reserved. It wasn’t until “Ill Communication” came out that I really drew that line from me to him, but he was always my guy. The Beastie I wanted to hear the most in every song, and the one who seemed to be a little distant, but also on point with all I wanted to say, wished I could say, and simply… agreed with. Stylistically he came hard, but his message was always softer than the delivery. He was a FUCKING HERO.
He lived an amazing life, and though he died far too young, his empire, his legacy, and his words will live on forever. He killed it. He was a game changer and he used his powers for good.
I’m sad MCA is gone, but I am ecstatic he lived long enough to affect so much good in the world. I think he knew it too, but was too humble to ever recognize it. He was a champion and an icon and FUCK I’m sad he’s gone.
Adam was a Buddhist, and if he believed in the cycle of reincarnation, I hope he’s on his way back to this earth in the form of something beautiful.
I just love this.
Matt Besser on Tebow.
From a conversation with Pete Holmes on his podcast “You Made It Weird.” I love Matt Besser and this was just brilliant.
“You’re talking about faith and you’re talking about loyalty. Does faith and loyalty have to come with something… with the supernatural thing? That’s what I don’t buy. It’s like I can believe in faith and loyalty and us all getting together and being on the same page and… all those things a team leader can say. But to think there’s a supernatural entity doing things for MY football team that he’s not doing for other football teams, or for me as a player that he’s not doing for other players? That’s a bunch of fuckin’ horse shit. And what about the people who are doing well that aren’t Christians?
Do you think the Bronco’s all believed that? That God was helping him?
You realize there’s Jesus guys on every team. There’s a big Jesus guy on every team if not a bunch. If not a quarter of the team… They’re getting in the middle of the field and praying after the game’s over. I got no problem with those guys.
I have no problems with Christian athletes… I have no problem with guys like Curt Shilling or Drew Brees or Jon Kitna or Roger Stauback who are huge Christians off the field. They don’t stick it my fuckin’ face while I’m watching a football team. Therefore, I don’t have… I don’t have to be involved with it.
Tebow does. That’s the difference.
I don’t hate Christians, I hate evangelical Christians that stick shit in your face. Whether it’s in Boston Square or whether it’s when I’m watching a football game.
I believe in cancer, I don’t need to talk about that during the game either. There’s a lot of things you can believe in and talk about and push your agenda on at the end of the game. It’s like… I don’t need to hear about it dude.”
Come pick me up
Take me out
Fuck me up
Steal my records
Screw all my friends
They’re all full of shit
